Our world tells us we should fear\/avoid\/resist these changes. That we will no longer be needed\/desired\/visible when these changes take place. That we should do ALL we can to hide these changes. Reverse them. Erase them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Honestly, I feel like it\u2019s programmed in me. This idea to \u2018stay young\u2019. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Here\u2019s my question:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why can\u2019t we CELEBRATE the changes? Honor them? Revere them?<\/strong> And, what would happen<\/strong> if we did?<\/p>\n\n\n\n What if the energy we use to resist aging, maintain a certain look + erase time – was instead spent on life itself?<\/strong> The things we enjoy. The people we love. The dreams we have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What if? <\/strong>(Sit with that for a moment. It\u2019s kind of mind-blowing.)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n What if we had been drilled our whole lives with the idea that wrinkles + dark spots are signs of deep wisdom + worthy of reverence?<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n What if those traits had a special + coveted place in our culture? <\/p>\n\n\n\n What if aging + this stage of life was something we had been looking forward to since we were little girls?<\/p>\n\n\n\n How\u2019s THAT for a brain tweak?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s get honest for a minute. How do you talk to yourself when you see your reflection in a mirror?<\/strong> Is it the way you would talk to your best friend or someone you love? Or do you greet yourself with disappointment? Insult? Disdain?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Depending on the study or article you read, 80-90% of women are unhappy with the way they look.<\/strong> (Notice this statistic has nothing to do with aging. This is women across the board. Across generations. So, if you are hating on yourself, you\u2019re NOT alone! We\u2019ve been practicing our whole lives!)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Getting older gives us ONE more thing to hate on.<\/strong> After all, in our culture, aging is a sign of weakness. It\u2019s a sign that we have \u2018given up\u2019. That we have \u2018let ourselves go\u2019. Aging is failure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n At least up until a certain age. I\u2019m not sure what that magic age is, but you know the one. It\u2019s the age where old becomes \u2018cute\u2019. The age where just about anything you do having fun + being playful is adorable + admirable. (There is no shortage of viral videos<\/a> featuring adorable elderly couples dancing, etc. They are the cutest! Right?)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n But, what about the decades in between? <\/strong>That\u2019s a lotta years of transition + energy wasted in resistance. Trying not to age. Fixing. Hiding. Covering. Shaming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve decided I don\u2019t want to spend the next 20 years doing that. I want to honor each wrinkle as it appears. I want to embrace the bald spots (Yes, I\u2019ve got a doozie of a bald spot on my head).<\/em> I want to marvel at what my body does + how it changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I want to look forward to seeing myself each day. The changes. The evolution.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I will never be in my 40s again. But, I will also never be in my 50s again. So, I am going to enjoy them. And, I\u2019m not going to spend a minute trying to freeze time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Instead, I\u2019m going to savor the time. Respect it. And, honor the impact it has on my physical expression. Even the parts I don\u2019t like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n These are bold statements I know. And mind you, I didn\u2019t say it would be easy. Or that I would be successful. I\u2019m just sharing my intention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I want to have fun becoming that adorable old lady.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How? Well, it\u2019s a work in progress. I\u2019m practicing. I hope you\u2019ll join me!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n {I\u2019m channeling my inner Tina Turner now as I imagine my adorable elderly self dancing + dishing out advice with \u2018What\u2019s love got to do with it?\u2019 playing in the background.}<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m going to share some advice + thoughts about how to love your aging face<\/strong> in just a minute. But, before I do, I want to challenge the whole premise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Do we need to love our faces? Seriously. What\u2019s love got to do with it?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s a lot of pressure to tell ourselves we need to love everything about our bodies. They are imperfect. They are ever-changing. I mean – how are you supposed to love all of the reminders that time is ticking by?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I honestly don\u2019t think it\u2019s important that we love everything about our faces (or any other body part for that matter).<\/p>\n\n\n\n What we NEED is to love the person we see in the mirror.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n There is NO LEVEL of fixing our face that is going to change the way we love ourselves because – as we all know – love does not come from there. It comes from inside. And, it has NOTHING to do with how we look.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s about how we FEEL + how we treat ourselves. It\u2019s about seeing ourselves through a different filter. The same filter we place on anyone we love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Think about someone you love – a friend, spouse, partner, child. There is nothing perfect about them – Am I right? They have all kinds of flaws. Yet, none of those flaws stops you from loving them, protecting them + wanting the best for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When you love someone you treat them well. You respect them. You listen to them. You appreciate them. You give them grace.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n See, you already know how to use the filter! Time to turn it on yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Are you ready?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This list is by no means comprehensive. It\u2019s a starting point. Just some thoughts to throw into the mix the next time you find yourself in front of the mirror. <\/p>\n\n\n\n These are things I find helpful in my life at this stage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Learning to love yourself is a practice. There is no finish line. I feel like we spend the first half of our lives figuring out who we are. Then we spend the second half learning to love that person. The good. The bad. The ugly. And, she is forever changing. So, we have to keep finding new ways to love + accept her – even when she disappoints us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The cool thing is – as we increase our capacity to love ourselves, we increase our capacity to give our gifts to the world.<\/strong> And, the more we give, the more we receive. It\u2019s a beautiful cycle to be in. Let\u2019s keep practicing!<\/p>\n\n\n\n NOTE: This post is an adaptation from my Substack newsletter – The LIFT<\/a>. If you don’t already subscribe, you should check it out!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\nBack to the real world<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
What’s love got to do with it?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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